


Red Raw

by nic73



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Drama, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-21 05:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nic73/pseuds/nic73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane loses his voice and you would think it would keep him out of trouble but he has other ideas. Final chapter posted. Thank you for reading and  i hope you enjoyed it. Thank you to those who gave me kudos - made my day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lisbon signs her name at the bottom of the completed paperwork and triumphantly places it inside the file. The final evaluation finished! She picks up her phone to call Jane. for the umpteenth time, when a glance in to the bullpen reveals that her extremely tardy consultant has arrived. He is wildly demonstrating something with his arms. Lisbon pushes herself away from the desk and leaving her office she marches up to Jane, demanding to know why he didn't answer any of her calls.

He turns and points to his throat, he's moving his mouth but no sound is coming out. At first she stares at him dumbfounded, thinking that she doesn't have time for his silly games, but then. she realises he is telling her that he's lost his voice. When she puts this conclusion forward he nods his head and points to a paper bag with a chemist's logo on the front, laying on his couch. She asks after his health and he signals with his thumb and forefinger that he is 'okay', it's just his throat. He mimes putting something in his ears and wiggling something in front of him, Lisbon looks puzzled but when he places 'it' on his chest Rigsby exclaims

"Stethoscope. Doctor!"

Jane touches his nose with one hand and points at Rigsby with the other and then raises two fingers. After congratulating him on going to the doctor. Lisbon groans:

"Charades I hate charades."

but then a big smile erupts on her face at the thought of 2 days without a talking Jane, two days of no trouble. Jane reads her like a book and shakes his head and moving a finger back and forth. Lisbon can almost hear his silent 'tut tut'

The phone rings and Cho announces they have a body. Everyone starts getting their things together, Lisbon instructs Cho to take a second vehicle and for Jane to stay on the couch. He grabs her arm and shakes his head. He looks indignant as she asks him what use will he be and that it would be better if he stayed at headquarters. He opens his arms in a questioning manner and points to his eyes. Lisbon sighs and signals for him to come. He immediately engulfs her in a hug. Lisbon extricates herself.

"Don't make me regret this."

He follows her with a wide smile on his face. As the elevator doors open he bows to let her enter first and Lisbon rolls her eyes to the ceiling. Jane seems to be enjoying himself too much and she knows it's going to be a very long day.

The crime scene is in the middle of nowhere, an hour's drive from Sacramento, in the wrong direction. They're met by the Sheriff from the nearest town. Lisbon introduces herself and Jane. gives a salute. The Sheriff moves up close to Jane:

"Patrick Jane, I have heard about you. I don't want any funny business on my patch. I take murder very seriously."

Lisbon groans inwardly as she knows that the Sheriff is courting trouble. Jane on the other hand hold his hands up in surrender and mimes zipping his mouth shut. As the Sheriff turns away to lead them to the body, Jane gives Lisbon a big smile. Under her breath Lisbon admonishes:

"Behave yourself"

The Sheriff is giving them the low down on the case. A young woman, name of Lisa Banks, age 26, address on her driving license is in Sacramento. The coroners preliminary report is that she was stabbed a number of times and then strangled. The primary crime scene seems to be elsewhere, due to the lack of blood and she's been dead somewhere between 8 to 12 hours.

"Thank you Sheriff you've been very helpful"

Jane gives him a nod in agreement. Lisbon and Jane take a few minutes looking at the body. The Sheriff is over by his car desperately looking through his pockets. Lisbon calls over to him:

"Sheriff where is the person who found the body?"

He points to a man sitting in a pick up truck and then starts searching the ground. Lisbon turns to Cho.

"You and Rigsby talk to the man who found the body and Jane and I will go back to the victims place in Sacramento. She turns back to the Sheriff.

"Thank you Sheriff, they can take the body away now , we're heading back to Sacramento. Thank you for your help. A very distracted Sheriff returns her thanks without taking his eyes from the ground. Lisbon looks at him for a moment:

"Have you lost something Sheriff, can we help you?"

The Sheriff waves her off and Lisbon shrugs and with Jane heads back to the Suv. As she is about to enter the car she hears the Sheriff shout in frustration:

"Has anyone seen my car keys?"

Lisbon shoots Jane a fierce look, Jane gives an innocent questioning look in return.

"Give them back Jane."

Jane shrugs

"Now!"

Jane rolls his eyes but turns around and tosses the keys so they land just in front of the Sheriff's feet. As he looks up Jane gives him a smile and a wave before quickly getting into the car. Lisbon already has it started and makes a quick getaway with an angry Sheriff in the rear view mirror.

"I'm going to kill you Jane."


	2. Chapter 2

The drive back to Sacramento with an non-talkative Jane is almost too quiet. Since he can't engage in conversation Jane goes to sleep. Their drives together is usually when they had their best chats as friends and Lisbon was missing it. As they near the address Van Pelt calls with the information that it's the family home owned by her parents: Mr Terrence Banks and Mrs Josephine Banks. They are wealthy, the husband is a surgeon and the wife a CEO of a publishing firm. She turns into the winding drive and Jane starts to rouse. Lisbon shakes her head

'How does he do that!'

She relays the information to Jane as she pulls up in front of the house. It is impressive in size, and looks recently built, Jane takes a 360 degree turn, looking all around him and sniffing the air with a puzzled look. Lisbon finds herself sniffing as well. Jane catches her eye and pulls a face, Lisbon shrugs, she doesn't smell anything unusual. Jane starts wafting the air in front of his nose.

"What? I can't smell anything"

Jane takes a deep breath in through his nose, Lisbon follows. Jane starts gagging, but Lisbon still can't smell anything, she hears the door being opened behind her and turns to face whoever is at the door, she doesn't see Jane's smile behind her.

Lisbon can feel Jane's discomfort coming off him like waves. He is never good with the 'breaking bad news' thing. The parents are being stoic but it is obvious they are only just keeping themselves together. Jane gets up off the couch and starts looking around the room. They were invited into the living room which is decorated in the minimalist style that is popular today in modern houses. Lisbon was surprised to find the parents home but they were in the middle of getting ready to go to the airport for a few days in Italy. A holiday now forgotten. Suddenly a loud crash assaults Lisbon's ears and they all jump up and run towards the sound.

Jane wanders out of the living room, where there isn't much to see, in search for something more interesting. A couple of doors revealed equally bare uninteresting rooms, one for dining and one for, who knows, one of those extra rooms rich people like to have. Bingo the third one is a gem, library/study. Judging by this room with its traditional dark wood and heavy brown leather, the rest of the house is decorated in the woman's style while the husband was given reign over his own space. He suspects the husband spends a lot of time in this room. As Jane looks over the books filling one wall of the room, he is impressed with the man's reading choices. He moves to the imposing desk set just inside the back half of the room. Every drawer's locked, heightening Jane's curiosity, why would a doctor need to lock every drawer. He checks and there isn't a central locking mechanism, every drawer is locked individually and the key must be on the good doctor. With only a moments consideration he takes out his pick and sets to work on the bottom drawer where the good stuff is usually kept. The drawer is opened in a few seconds and Jane is rummaging through the files found within when a voice halts him.

"Who are you and what are you doing?"

Jane looks up to find himself facing a young man of about 17 yrs of age, dressed in shorts and t-shirt trying hard to achieve a threatening look on his face, but, it is successfully backed up by the gun he's holding in his hand.

"Let me see your hands and don't think that I am afraid to use this."

He shakes the gun in case Jane doesn't know what he is talking about. Jane puts his hands up and stands slowly, closing the drawer with his knee on the way.

"Answer the question. Who are you?"

Jane moves to reach his CBI badge to be rewarded with the boy moving closer, Jane takes a step back.

"Keep your hands up."

Jane quickly returns his hands to the familiar surrender position. Jane mouths that he can't speak, in the hope the boy can read lips. He just becomes more irritated. Another step forward and another back.

"Are you trying to be funny?"

Jane vigorously shakes his head and attempts to point to his throat while his hands are still in the air.

"I'm not finding you funny mister"

The boy moves swiftly towards him and Jane retreats, pain explodes in the back of his head, he hears a crash against the wall behind him, before he recovers he's hit in the back again and goes down with the offending object following him and pinning him to the ground. Through his haze he hears:

"CBI Put the gun down."

"Jack what are you doing?"

"I caught this man going through Dad's desk?"

"Jane?"

Jane recognizes the tone of voice and wonders if his chances were better with the boy. He feels the object on top of him being lifted off. He sits up slowly and gingerly touches the back of his head looking up at Lisbon wincing. Lisbon is glaring at him.

"You're perfectly fine Jane. it's just a lamp. Get up now."

Jane takes his time.

"Today Jane"

When he gets to his feet he finds four sets of eyes looking at him. Lisbon and Jack are glaring at him, the Banks look confused. He tries his best sheepish look. Lisbon is not impressed. She turns to the Banks.

"I'm truly sorry Mr. and Mrs Banks for my colleagues behaviour. He's a consultant and gets carried away sometimes thinking he's a detective. His behaviour today in no way represents the standards of the CBI. Jane has lost his voice and is unable to express his apologies, but, he will be writing you a letter and paying for the damage to your lamp."

She fixes Jane with another glare that Jane read perfectly: best behaviour required, humble, apologetic, no more trouble. He shakes Mrs Banks hand and mouths his apologies, moves on to Mr. Banks, and adds his second hand giving him a long look before letting go. Jack keeps his hand resolutely by his side. Jane salutes him. He looks at Lisbon raising a questioning eye of approval which she ignores.

"Thank you Mr and Mrs Banks, that's all for now. There may be more questions and we will need access to your daughter's room and computer."

Lisbon scurries Jane out as quickly as possible. Over the hood of the SUV Lisbon smiles at Jane as he expresses his affront at the things she said.

"It was nothing less than you deserved."

Lisbon straps herself in to her seat thinking there are definite advantages to a silent consultant.


	3. Chapter 3

Lisbon is in a foul mood as she returns from Bertram's office. Terrence Banks had lost no time in calling Bertram's office to complain about Jane's behaviour. She hadn't even been able to argue that it had all been for a good cause because Jane had found something vital. She looks in the Bullpen and after noting no sign of Jane she pulls open the door to her office and jumps out of her skin as there is a loud bang to her left. She turns that way and finds her table covered in craft supplies: stickers, glue, card, paper, scissors and pens. As she is trying to figure out what is going on, up pops the head of her consultant from underneath the table with her stapler in hand. When he sees Lisbon he gives her a huge grin. He places the stapler on the table and uses it as leverage to pull himself to his feet and sits down at the table.

"What's going on here Jane? Why is all this stuff in my office?"

Jane holds up a folded card on the table and shows her the front which has pasted on it, in cut out letters, 'I'm Sorry'

"Really Jane, a card! You couldn't just write a note?"

Jane fakes a yawn.

"Well couldn't you have kept this stuff on your own desk? You do remember that you have one?"

Jane makes a sweeping gesture with a hand.

"I'm certain there was enough room on your desk, you just want to bug me for making you apologise in the first place. Now clear these things up and take them away."

Jane starts looking through the pile of stickers.

"Jane I mean it!"

Jane gives an exaggerated sigh and starts gathering his things together. Lisbon leaves him to it and heads to the kitchen to get some coffee. When she returns there is relief at finding her table clear of all arts and crafts. She looks towards the bullpen but Jane isn't there. Deciding not to care where he's gone she moves to behind her desk. A smile spreads across her face as she finds a origami rose laying on the keyboard of her laptop. She picks it up and studies it's delicate petals cursing her consultant for deflating her anger once again which she had vowed to hold on to for the rest of her day.

When Lisbon enters the bullpen for a catch up on the case Jane is putting a stamp on the envelope to his card. He holds it up and mimes posting it.

"Wait Jane while I get the updates."

Jane shrugs and dutifully sits down on his couch, halfway through he swings his legs around and lays down. The movement catches Lisbon's eye.

"Are we boring you Jane?"

Jane gives a slight wave of his hand.

"Any thoughts Jane?"

Jane holds up his envelope

"You can mail that in a minute. Any thoughts on the case."

Jane gets up off the couch and points his finger at the writing on the card

Cho speaks up

"You think it's the family?"

Jane nods vigorously.

Lisbon looks aghast.

"The family, no we can't go near them after what you pulled today."

Jane waves his card.

"No Jane."

Lisbon turns to the others and gives orders for the morning and suggests that it's time to go home. There's only Cho and Jane left in the bullpen. Jane catches Cho's eye and holds up the card, and points to himself and Cho. Cho shakes his head

"You heard Lisbon."

Jane cocks his head and raises his eyebrows.

"Tomorrow man."

Cho puts on his jacket and leaves.. Jane makes a cup of tea and drinks it on his couch watching the clock. At 7:30 he opens his phone and sends a text. He grabs his jacket and the card, takes his cup in to the kitchen. After rinsing it out he exits the building. He pulls up in front of the Richmond hotel. He shows his badge to ward off demands to move his car. As he takes the steps he removes the card from his jacket pocket and once inside the hotel heads to the reception desk. The couple in front of him were berating the receptionist about their neighbours, insisting they won't be able to get a wink of sleep with two transvestites in the next room.

"Who knows what they may get up to in there."

Jane listens with amusement as the young woman explains that there are no other rooms available due to a special dinner being held that night. The two men in question have stayed regularly at the hotel and there has never been any complaints about their behaviour and assures them that their rest will go undisturbed. Jane steps in and shows his badge putting a finger up to his mouth. the couples eyes grow wide.

"Are you watching them?"

Jane nods solemnly and zips his mouth.

"Are they dangerous?"

Jane shakes his head and the woman grabs her husband's arm.

"Come on Arnold this could be exciting."

She winks at Jane and they leave for the elevator. Jane watches them go and turns to the receptionist and gives her a smile.

"Thank you. What can I do for you Mr.?

Jane shows his badge once more.

"Jane"

He holds out the card and points to the name.

"Ah yes the congratulatory dinner. It is in the Presidential ballroom on the second floor. Jane gives a nod of thanks and passes her a note, he checks his phone and smiles at the reply he received and enters the elevator.


	4. Chapter 4

Jane enters the Presidential ballroom. It is full of people, dressed in their finest, sat at round tables eating, a delicious looking meal Jane notes. The room is decorated with balloons and streamers in black and purple and to the left of the stage, placed on an easel is a huge photograph of the guest of honour. Jane makes his way to the stage where, standing off to the side, is a woman, that Jane notes, is obviously in charge of the evening's events, by the way she nervously keeps scanning the room. Jane gives her his most disarming smile and shows his badge, pointing to the stage. He climbs the steps and moves to the microphone tapping it to gain everyone's attention. Everyone looks up from their meal, Jane points to his throat and mouths some words to explain his forthcoming silence and takes a pack of cards out of his pocket.

He begins by showing off his skills by expertly shuffling the cards at lightening speed, across from one hand to the other, then vertical, fanning them one way and then the other, it seems to the gaping crowd that the cards are attached by invisible wire, he finally finishes his dazzling display with cards almost floating in the air as they move from his right hand to his left. The guests burst in to rapturous applause as Jane takes a bow.

He scans the room, his eyes eventually rest on a lady sat at the front right table, an attractive woman in her 50's with twinkling eyes. He invites her on to the stage. Every one applauds as she makes her way up the steps, Jane takes her hand gallantly for the last two steps and guides her to the microphone. He lightly kisses her on the cheek in greeting and indicates for her to introduce herself and she informs him that her name is Joanna. He takes out a new deck of cards and hands them to Joanna to remove and shuffle. Under his instructions she chooses and card and shows it to the audience, and then tears it in to pieces. Jane takes them and puts them inside his inside jacket pocket. He presents Joanna for applause and then taking her by the hand leads her to her table, walking around the table as he does so. He pulls out her seat for her to sit. He makes his return retracing his steps. He suddenly stops at a man three chairs down from Joanna. He indicates for him to stand and then to look in his top jacket pocket. The man obeys and pulls out the Joanna's card. He holds it up astounded and the room erupts in to applause once more.

Jane moves to the next man at the table who also finds in his pocket Joanna's card, Jane chooses two more men on the surrounding tables who pull out the same card. A movement at the door of the ballroom catches Jane's eye and he makes his way to the guest of honour and invites him up on to the stage. The man at first shakes his head but is unable to resist the urging of the crowd who are putty in Jane's hands. Earlier while on stage Jane had spied an overhead projector in the wings, with the help of his 'assistant' he moves it to the center of the stage. After miming the act, a screen is lowered behind him. Jane then presents his new assistant Mr. Banks to the audience. Jane has him choose a card and write his name on the back. He then places it on the projector, the card in constant view of the audience on the screen. He takes out the envelope he has carried since leaving the CBI and covers the card on the projector so the audience can read that it is addressed to Mr. Banks, as he removes the envelope he switches the projector off. He hands it to Banks who opens it. He removes the card that Jane made earlier. Jane indicates for him to look inside and there is his playing card which includes his signature on the back. Thunderous applause erupts, Jane takes his bow and encourages Mr. Banks to do the same. Jane moves back a step and switches on the projector. There is an abrupt silence as the audience view the image on the screen, a young girl looking frightened and partially undressed, some recognise her as Mr. Banks daughter. The silence is broken by the voice of Theresa Lisbon:

"Mr. Banks, that photo explains your presence here tonight, just hours after the murder of your daughter."

"I-I-I don't know anything about that photo, it has nothing to do with me."

Jane swaps it for one which includes Mr. Banks.

"How about that one Mr. Banks."

He turns around and looks at the screen. Before Lisbon can react he grabs Jane and from his pocket produces a knife which he holds against Jane's throat.


	5. Chapter 5

Lisbon holds her gun steady and starts walking towards the stage. Her eyes never leave Banks and Jane.

"Everyone will you please quietly leave the room. Mr Banks let Jane go, there is nowhere for you to go."

Jane keeps doing funny things with his eyes. He looks at her and then darts them to the right. Lisbon ignores him, concentrating on Mr. Banks. Put the knife down Mr. Banks we can talk about this at the station. I'm sure you never meant to kill your daughter."

A voice comes from behind her, she sees Jane raise his eyes to the ceiling in exasperation.

"No he didn't Agent because I did."

Lisbon turns to find Mrs. Banks holding a small gun that's pointed at her.

"Now put the gun down and let us leave with your Mr. Jane."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"No one needs to get hurt Agent."

Mrs Banks nods to her husband. Lisbon turns slightly so she can see the stage while keeping her gun trained on Mrs Banks. She's horrified to see blood trickling down Jane's neck where Mr. Banks has pushed the tip of the knife into his skin. Banks is guiding Jane down the steps of the stage. Lisbon lowers her gun.

"Put it on the table Agent and your handcuffs and then back up to the wall behind you. Lisbon does as she is told. Her eyes are on Jane as she moves further away from him. He seems to be keeping himself together but then it's not a new situation for him. She definitely going to have to get that leash. She sees Jane's eyebrows rise in questioning horror as if he read her mind. The Banks take her gun and swap it for the knife against Jane's throat and encase his wrists in the handcuffs, behind his back. They slowly make their way to the exit. Once they have disappeared Lisbon rushes to an emergency exit and quickly makes her way outside. She finds Cho and he reports that Rigsby and Van Pelt are following the Banks procession and they are making their way to the foyer. They position themselves on either side of the doors making sure they are out of sight. Cho gives a signal telling Lisbon to be ready. The doors of this modern hotel swoosh open and together Cho and Lisbon pounce. Mrs Banks is closest to Lisbon and she soon has her on the floor in the extra pair of handcuffs that she had taken out of her car along with a gun. Once Mrs. Banks is secure she looks up to see that Cho has successfully disarmed Mr. Banks and is also in handcuffs. She looks around for Jane, he has moved clear of the action and is jumping up and down with a delighted expression on his face. Lisbon gives him a scowl. She hands her prisoner to Van Pelt then goes over to Jane to unlock the handcuffs.

"Let's get your neck looked at Jane"

He produces a handkerchief from one of his pockets and holds it against the cut waving Lisbon off. Lisbon grabs Jane's arm and turns to Cho

"I'm taking Jane to the hospital, you finish up here and I will see you at headquarters."

Cho nods and Lisbon pulls a protesting Jane towards her car.

Within an hour Lisbon is back, in fact Cho has only been there a few minutes himself. He spies Lisbon.

"Where's Jane?"

He can see that Lisbon is not happy.

"He's coming. I dropped him off at the hotel so he could pick up his car."

Cho knows better than to ask anymore but has a suspicion that the bosses bad mood is the responsibility of Jane. A few minutes later Jane arrives beaming from ear to ear. It doesn't miss Cho's attention that he is not sporting a bandage or even a plaster although blood is still dripping from the cut. He addresses Jane:

"You refused to get out of the car didn't you?"

Jane shrugs and dabs at his neck."

"You need to keep the pressure on until it stops bleeding."

Jane does as Cho directs and gives him a salute. He sits on his couch and stare pleadingly at Van Pelt who is working on her computer. After a few moments Van Pelt starts squirming in her chair.

"Stop it Jane."

She looks at him and he points to his hand and then motions a cup of tea. Van Pelt rolls her eyes:

"Alright I get you one."

Jane places his hand on his heart and mouths his thanks.

Eventually the bleeding stops and Jane is halfway through his tea when he hears his name being called. He heads towards Lisbon's office with cup in hand. Lisbon gives him a smile and points him towards the chair behind her desk. Jane looks at her puzzled.

"After one of your stunts this is the part Jane where you explain to us your reasoning. Without a voice that's impossible to you are going to have to write it on the laptop. In other words fill out a report."

Jane looks horrified and starts to back out but Lisbon grabs his arm, leads him to behind her desk and pushes him down on to her chair.

"You stay here until you're finished. I have the page up for you, now start typing."

She hovers over Jane and he reluctantly starts hitting the keys. After she's satisfied she heads over to her couch and lies down facing Jane with a triumphant smile on her face.

"I will check it before you can go."


	6. Chapter 6

Lisbon eyes pop open as it dawns on her that she had fallen asleep. She looks across at her desk and sure enough Jane's gone, her laptop is closed and laying on top of it is a A4 sheet of paper. At her desk she can see there is a message for her.

'Hope your dreams were sweet as I laboured away'

Your suffering consultant - Jane.

She growls to herself and turns over the page and reads:

mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn

Did you know that any quiet repetitive noise, done at just the right speed can put someone into a relaxed state. It's amazing the quite innocuous things that can be used. As long as it can catch a person's attention with out being invasive so they're listening to it without realizing it and in no time at all they have drifted off to sleep. A bit like you Lisbon.

I am taking this opportunity to educate you some more. Experiences that are novel and complex create a sensation of uncertainty in the brain, a sensation perceived to be unpleasant. Curiosity acts as a means in which to dispel this uncertainty. Therefore being curious brings peace to one's soul, it calms troubled nerves, it contributes to one's level of happiness. To be curious is a good thing!

I always ask myself why do people put things under lock and key, doing so shouts to the world that it is important. Things that are in drawers or cupboards which are left open are rarely worth the time and effort of looking through them. So let this be a lesson to you Lisbon, never put anything that you don't want people to see in a locked drawer. It invites curiosity, and curiosity is a hard animal to put to bed once aroused. It has an insatiable need to be fulfilled, the fulfilling of which brings, as I have shown, peace and happiness. (Don't panic my dear your locked drawer is safe and sound, I have not looked in it while you've been sleeping so I don't know if you have added anything to join the harlequin novel, though you should have almost finished it by now. Was Jared enough man for Maris?).

I hope you are enjoying my report. I thought it is a great opportunity to show how good reports can be. They are usually dry and boring but here you are being informed, enlightened, instructed.

Can I take this opportunity to say how dismayed I am at the treatment of the disadvantaged in this country. I am unfortunate to have a malady by which I'm struck dumb, my main source of communication taken away from me, a distressing situation to be in. And yet I have been verbally abused, physically abused, twice! and now forced to sit in front of a lap top for hours, after a long day where I have solved a murder. Not allowed to go lie down and rest my weary body. All the while listening to my bully of a boss talk in her sleep and drool. It's my opinion that the CBI ought to have a seminar on how to treat the disadvantaged in the work place - set a good example to the rest of the world. I could give it, giving the value of my experience, I think I may go see Bertram about it once I can talk! Tut tut to the world.

I digressed but I felt it was important, back to curiosity. Did you know that in the information about curiosity three category of animals are particularly mentioned - yes cats are one of them, and the others are...apes and one of your favourites, rodents. Plus it is not an instinct but a base emotion. I thought that was particularly interesting. A curious person is wrongfully aligned as a nosey parker but it is in fact an important facet of human nature to bring us happiness. Curiosity did not kill the cat, it brought him happiness - and I might add it is a great advantage in the detecting business. My hope is that with this lesson you will embrace curiosity rather than see it as a ugly sister to interest, which is so dull I am almost asleep writing it. Lesson over Lisbon your thanks need not be displayed just knowing that I have made your day that bit brighter is reward enough for me.

To the boring part how did I know that the Banks had killed their own daughter?

The gala was on his desk calendar - They weren't going to miss it by going on holiday - they were trying to escape

His bottom drawer was locked and first look showed nothing of importance, so I knew something was in there - I went back and found the pictures after being rudely interrupted the first time.

They had that psycho killer vibe about them - you really need to get that vibe on your radar Lisbon.

Actually having this opportunity to express myself has been very relaxing, take it from me you would have a far more happier workforce with reports based on this model, I can do a seminar if you want...Good night.

The paper is crunched up very tightly in Lisbon's hand and thrown in the waste bin, knocking it on it's side.

"I'll give him long suffering consultant! Jane!"


	7. Chapter 7

Jane decided he deserved a day off. He had planned on sleeping at the CBI Headquarters but knowing it would be wise to be as far away from Lisbon as possible he opted for his motel. Wistfully he wished he could have been there when she woke up and read his offering but sometimes self preservation does win over. Once he settles in his favourite diner with his cup of tea and order of eggs on the way, he opens up his phone and sends a text, after all he doesn't want anyone worrying about him.

He had tried out his voice in the shower but it came out croaky and weak so it was another day of silence. Another reason why he took the morning off, it was hard work communicating without words. After his brilliant job of closing the case in one long day, When he returned to his motel he had noticed sweat across his brow and determined that his strenuous activities had resulted in a slight fever and perhaps the doctors orders of bed rest and hot drinks might have had some basis for consideration.

He fills his cup up for the third time after putting down his knife and fork and pushing his empty plate away, now how is he going to fill his morning. This is the problem with time off, it sounds good at first but then the hours stretch before him lonely and empty. He does know he need to buy 'make up' presents. Lisbon will be grumpy after last night and the team will get the brunt of it, especially when the object of her wrath is not there to take his medicine. He leans back and closes his eyes...'what to buy'...

Jane waves a cheery hello to the guard at the gate and parks his car. He grabs his purchases from the back seat and heads in to the elevator. He has a smile on his face, he's very happy with his purchases, they should unruffle all feathers. They had taken awhile to make and then he didn't know what else to do, so boredom and childish anticipation brought him to the CBI at two o'clock in the afternoon.

As he exits the elevator he hear the sound of Rigsby's laughter and then to his unbelieving ears, Lisbon's delightful chuckle joins in. Perhaps the gifts were unneccessary and Lisbon had come to realise that his hard work at closing the case in one day and being held at the point of a knife and a gun (a gun twice!) made him deserving of her forgiveness.

Grace is the first to see him and gives his a beaming smile'

"Jane I thought you were taking the day off."

Jane shrugs and holds up his bags.

As he steps closer into the bullpen, the stillness of anticipation is evident. Then he sees it and drops his bags. He points and finds he can't stop pointing as he backs his way towards Lisbon's office where she has quickly retreated. She's at her desk pretending to do paperwork

"Lisbon"

He croaks out.

She looks sweetly up at him,

"Yes Jane."

"Where's my couch?!"


End file.
